Time to Bitch

Ok, Caroline complained that I hadn't blogged since March. Like Zach, I've started so many of these that I just haven't finished. But here's what's going on right at this moment:

I'm sick. I haven't been sick in two years. It's the shittiest of colds, and it's been going for a week now. I know, waaa waaa, but you forget when you're healthy this long how much this stuff sucks! All the meds, the kleenex, the sore throat... And can we talk about mucus for a moment? Sorry, I know this is gross, but we all deal with it. I am So. Tired. Of coughing. Up. Gunk. Really. My head and lungs are NOT big enough to hold all this stuff. I just keep hocking it up again and again. *Cough* cough* *gak* WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM???

So there's been that. And what do I wake up with this morning? Pink Eye! Yup, in addition to being sick, I'm grody. So there's that. Oh, and I started my period today. I'm so full of win I can't even stand it.

I had to skip out on seeing No Doubt tonight because of all of this. Yet another way I know I've become a grown up: I'm not even that upset about it. Well, I am, but I feel crappy enough that I know it's best for me to stay home and recooperate than to rally and go to the show and stay up late.

I've had some boy messiness. Long, long story. The gist: man who's drifted in and out of my life for the last seven years, turns out, not quite as involved as I'd thought. Oh, he's into me plenty, but not in any committed way. Or rather, in a way that could lead to a commitment. We're still talking it out, but really, thanks for playing, asshole.

This has all been in the last week. There's more to talk about, but I think this is enough for now. I can go into the Wyo house being sold (bad) and the upcoming two year anniversary of my comedy show (good) and that I'm hosting it (yikes) another time.

Hello?

Does anyone still read this anymore? Make yourselves heard.

Wherein I Gush Just A Little Bit More...

I just can't get enough of our new President and his amazing family.


Don't you just want to be friends with them??


Well hello, Mr. & Mrs. Gorgeous. By the way, I heard today on the news that Michelle liked the color because "it looked like it contained sunshine". STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU, MICHELLE!


*Sigh*

OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA

I still can't believe it. I feel like we got away with something. Really? Really? The guy I wanted to win, the one who came up from nothing, worked his way through two Ivy League degrees, gave up his fancy law job in NY to work as a Community Organizer in Chicago's South Side, the one who was smart enough to pick someone equally impressive as his romantic partner, who remains calm under pressure, thinks on his feet but doesn't shoot from the hip, who's smart - really fucking smart, thoroughly competent, open-minded, confident without being egotistical, THAT guy won?


YES HE DID!!!

Beyonce - Crazy In Love!!

Bless her heart, she sums it up so nicely.

Yummy!

You guys, this stuff is amazing! If this were five years ago and I was a douchebag, I'd say it was "da bomb". It's the only diet soda that comes remotely close to tasting like regular soda. PLUS, it has no caffeine, so you can drink it at night with your pizza and not twich like a crack whore until 3AM.

Well done, A&W, well done.

The Truth

This is what my Facebook page would look like if I really posted what was going on currently:

Jen has not shaved her legs in five weeks. 8 minutes ago

Jen still has not unpacked from her trip, after arriving home six days ago. 17 hours ago

Jen has created three piles of mail on her couch: junk, crap I should read eventually, and bills to deal with only when I absolutely have to. 23 hours ago

Jen hasn't had a real meal all day, and has instead just snacked on crackers and peanut butter. yesterday

Jen thought that taking a month off from doing her show would rejuvenate her for the new year, but instead, she continues to procrastinate booking it. 2 days ago

Jen has ignored her To Do list for two weeks. four days ago

Jen has successfully balanced four drinking glasses in a Jenga-like fashion on her coffeetable. two weeks ago

R.I.P. Abby

Oh puppy, it's not fair. You were taken too soon. Eight years isn't long enough. :(

I Will Survive!

This is awesome: 8 Ways To Survive The Next 8 Days

One week and one day. I seriously need to take this advice to heart. Get away from CNN. Stop watching Rachel Maddow. Push the newspaper aside. If this is what being on top of the news is like, no thanks. I'll stick to reading Defamer.