That's So My 20's

So, my co-worker recently went out with this guy, a fellow comic she met on MySpace. They took a novel approach to dating, kind of a 'pre-date', an idea that was recently highlighted during an episode of the Lisa Loeb show on E!. Instead of doing the dinner or drinks thing, they met at Best Buy and ran errands together, which I think is fucking genius. He explains it a lot better than I can, so I'm going to cut and paste his blog entry here:

Truth in advertising...

I'm convinced dates are a thing of the past. Archaic. Useless. Forced, unnatural, pressure filled social outings designed to scare both parties involved. No, kids, I believe we are seeing the end of the traditional date as a way of getting to know someone.

Now... let me pause and explain as to not offend the romantic crowd. Fancy clothes, posh restaurants, and whispered sweet little nothings still have a place. Just not at the start.

It goes like this...

Girl and Boy meet. How? Doesn't matter. Internet, work, or, say, comedy show. Whatever. They meet. There's something there. What? Girl and Boy aren't sure. Life is confusing. Romance doubly so. Girl and Boy talk (which in this day and age usually means through e-mail) and they decide that they should be in the same place, at the same time, in an effort to get to know each other better. They owe it to each other to at least investigate the pulse of a connection they may have stumbled onto. Maybe they'll become friends or maybe they'll find that they don't have anything in common. Or maybe they'll end up one day having awkward sex in a shower. You don't know any of this when you first meet. At the start you're just two people that like what they see and hear. No one meets someone and thinks, "Awesome. One day I am totally going to have a big screaming match with this person and break up, leaving both of us in tears and therapy." There is an inherent hope that comes with meeting someone new. Roll around in it and enjoy the ride, I say.

So, my point is, there is no need to dash that hope early with a big, fancy date. Half way through you could both realize that this ain't happening and now you're stuck with each other because the helicopter trip over the wilderness was paid for in advance. The key, folks, is to get your errands done.

That's right. Errands. Go to Best Buy and use that rebate card you've been meaning to spend. Go to a large department store and pay a bill. Or go to Home Depot to get that toilet part you've needed. Or do it all in one day. Just do it with that person you're trying to get to know. Yeah, it is a little awkward at first because these tasks are normally reserved for couples that have long since lost the passion for sex, small talk, or watching the same TV shows. But Girl and Boy aren't a couple... not yet or maybe never... too early to tell. Yet if you want to get to know someone then why start that process in a false reality? Why start it while trying to remember to keep your elbows of the fancy restaurant table? Go do what you would be doing on a Sunday afternoon if that person wasn't with you. Then, while you meander through the DVD racks or search through the toilet section at Home Depot, you can get a better handle on what that person is about. Then, and only then, will you learn that both of would rather search an entire hardware store for a cabinet catch that may or may not exist then dare to ask any store clerk for help in locating this mystery item. You're not going to learn that while rushing to make an eight o'clock dinner reservation. And, if things go really bad, and that person failed to even come close to matching the person they were while exchanging thirteen e-mails over the course of three days... then... well... at least you got your toilet fixed.

He's totally right. When you do the traditional date, it brings up all that anxiety about where to go, what to wear, all for someone you have no idea if you'll like. It makes more sense to save the dressing up, the waxing, the polishing, the cleaning (for girls, anyway) for someone worthwhile. So many times after unsuccussful first dates (and there've been many) I'm reminded of that Deana Carter album, "Did I Shave My Legs For This?". At least this way, all is not lost. You still used the rebate card.