Crack Mama?

Now for something more lighthearted....

The "Caroline" who commented on my Idiot Boy entry is not the same one from the famed Thptpth, but instead from the more famous Caroline on Crack blog.

If you live in Los Angeles, there's a veritable cacophony of restaurants to try, bars to drink in, places to meet a potential date, and bakeries to experience the perfect cupcake. I like to think after 10 years that I have a pretty impressive mental database, but sometimes it's nice to pick the brain of someone like-minded.

CoC does a terrific job of reviewing all of the above and more in a simple, yet thorough, post. She provides first-hand knowledge and often a photo to help illustrate the decadence of the pastry or the potential debauchery of the watering hole, making her blog even more addicting than the street drug she references.

Holy Crap, Maybe It Helped?

Great thanks to those of you who sent some warmth and hope for my friend. While she and those involved have a lot of life adjustments to make, the results that could have made the situation much worse turned out to be negative. And things on other fronts concerning this are progressing nicely. So....yay!

I Need Your Help

I got hit with some news last night concerning one of my dearest friends. Earthshattering, heartbreaking news that I'm still stunned and numbed by.

Things are bad for her now. Truly, utterly horrible, at a time when I, stupidly, didn't think things could get much harder for her. And it could potentially get worse.

I don't ask for much - seriously - but I'm calling in favors now. Please, think good thoughts and send good vibes out in my direction and I'll pass them on to her. If you pray, do that too. I really, really need for this to happen.

Thanks.

What are you TALKing about?!

So, a certain guy who I may or may not have mentioned on here just pulled a doozy.

For my own sanity, I'd kept my distance from him since the holidays because, quite frankly, I was tired of being dicked around. And not in the good way.

So we talked last week briefly, the first time in a while, at which point he stressed that he was "absurdly horny". Direct, sure, but flirty all the same.

I invited him to my bday shindig, which he responded to quickly.....with a +1. So I sent him an AIM with, "hiya, who ya bringin?" Here's how he replied:

[17:05] ME: who ya bringin?
[17:06] Idiot: well....i was gonna talk to you about that
[17:06] Idiot: ive been seeing someone.....
[17:07] Idiot: and i was wondering if it woudl be ok with you to bring her
[17:08] Idiot: annnnnnd....silence
[17:08] ME: are you serious?
[17:08] Idiot: um
[17:08] Idiot: yes?
[17:09] Idiot: i am now feeling retarded
[17:09] ME: yeah, I think that's a bad idea
[17:10] Idiot: ok
[17:10] Idiot: im sorry
[17:10] ME: no worries
[17:10] ME: I just think it's inappropriate
[17:10] Idiot: ok
[17:10] Idiot: im wickedly embarrased
[17:12] ME: well.....
[17:21] ME: in fact, and not to sound like a dick, but I think it's best that you don't come at all
[17:22] Idiot: ok
[17:22] Idiot: fair enough
[17:22] Idiot: again...im sorry
[17:23] ME: hey, there's nothing to apologize for

I ask you, can you beLIEVE that shit?!

Now, by no means were we serious or together or even dating, really, unless you count a bunch of nights hanging out in bars and drunken hookups as such, but you know, there was somewhat of a courting period, and that one night when I stayed over and he fell asleep...holding my hand and smiling, which is when I stupidly started to care.

But I mean....REALLY.

To my mutherF*&#*@$ birthday party!

Giddy-up

I played the ponies this weekend for the first time at Santa Anita. I highly recommend going to your local track if you get a chance. You're outside, you can gamble, and there's all sorts of terrific crappy grandstand food to fill up on like beer and hotdogs.

Me in a nutshell - the last month

Old roommate drama, fell down stairs at work, busted toe, friend drama, friend drama, got the flu, more friend drama, people are crazy, is mercury still in retrograde?, spent the weekend in SF, partied like a rock star, chilled, ate some amazing food, saw Dave Chappelle's Block Party (which I HIGHLY recommend), drove back in a torrential downpour, came back to work drama, Mom comes to town tomorrow (so a good chance for parental drama), rinse and repeat.

And I have a big fat reminder next week that I'm getting older.

I got chills....they're multiplyin'

Ok, so I'm writing this after the fact, but here it is: I had the flu. Granted, it was a 24 hour bug, but jesus, it was enough to make my bathroom look like Vietnam.

I'd rather have a cold for three weeks than one day of having to choose which end things were going to come out of. Ew, I know.

All I can say is, God bless Homegrocer.com

Also, I busted my toe falling down the stairs at my office. WTF.

Uma....Oprah....Oscar

I don't have much to offer regarding last night's event de cinema, other than that I'm now even more in love with Jon Stewart than I was before.

Forgive me if it's lame to blog about a blog, but Dave Barry's account is so much funnier than anything I could come up with:

THE ACADEMY AWARDS
I didn't see any of the movies nominated for Best Picture. This is because I'm the parent of a 6-year-old, which means I see only those movies where the plot involves cute but lovable animals who talk in the voices of famous celebrities, one of whom, by law, must be Whoopi Goldberg. So I have no opinion about who should win any of the awards. But I'll watch anyway, because (a) it is everyone's patriotic duty to watch, and (b) I feel a connection to the Oscars, having written an estimated .0000017 percent (by volume) of Steve Martin's monologue when he hosted the show a couple of years ago (my account of that experience is here and here). I'm hoping for a snappy, fast-paced broadcast finishing no later than dawn Eastern Time.

UPDATE: Everybody is very excited.
UPDATE: Tim Burton's hair was apparently styled by rabid squirrels.
UPDATE: In case you're wondering -- and I know you are -- I'm wearing a University of Miami shirt in green and orange. The stains? They are by spaghetti.
UPDATE: I can't believe this. Not only did I not win Best Supporting Actor, but apparently I wasn't even nominated.
UPDATED: That Ben Stiller suit? I have that.
UPDATE: If you wear giant matching bow ties to accept the award, they should take the award away.
UPDATE: Do we think Dolly Parton lost a little too much weight?
UPDATE: If I don't win Live Action Short this thing is rigged.
UPDATE: Man, they start playing the get-off-the-stage music the instant the winners get on the stage. Maybe they should just have the presenters heave the statuettes into the audience.
UPDATE: I think we've reached the part of the show where you can go out for a while, maybe play a round of golf, and not miss anything.
UPDATE: The makeup guy just thanked the entire LA telephone directory.
UPDATE: Women have to pull the coveralls all the way down?
UPDATE: Lauren Bacall should just put on her glasses.
UPDATE: So they had about 57 feet of material left over, so they just bunched it up it on Charlize's shoulder, clearly intending to cut it off before she went onstage, but then...
UPDATE: March of the Penguins! A movie I actually saw! Yay.
UPDATE: Regarding the careerbuilder.com commercial: I don't know about you, but if I worked with dozens of monkeys, I would NOT want to change jobs.
UPDATE: Keanu and Sandra sure are excited to be giving out Best Art (snooorre) Direction.
UPDATE: No matter what he is actually talking about, Samuel L. Jackson always looks like he is just about to kick somebody's ass.
UPDATE: NOW is when we need the get-off-the-stage music.
UPDATE: This guy fails to mention that when you share the movie experience with total strangers, you also have to listen to their cell phones ring.
UPDATE: They should have Salma present all the awards.
UPDATE: She could also do the commercials.
UPDATE: Although she is nowhere near as hot as my wife.
UPDATE: They are setting some kind of world indoor record for most montages.
UPDATE: This attractive couple is really into sound mixing. You can just tell.
UPDATE: Aww. The sound mixers are thanking their moms.
UPDATE: Hey! A montage!
UPDATE: Terrific speech by Robert Altman. For real.
UPDATE: At least it's not a hip-hop montage.
UPDATE: Did they bleep the hip-hop guys?
UPDATE: I like the fake attack ads. And I think Jon Stewart's doing a good job.
UPDATE: Those sound guys really looked like sound guys.
UPDATE: I think a deceased-person montage is coming up.
UPDATE: We're supposed to go to Tsotsi.com. Maybe there's a montage.
UPDATE: Another mom-thanking! Yay for moms.
UPDATE: American Inventor? American Inventor?
UPDATE: 30 years after Grease, and my wife still has a crush on John Travolta.
UPDATE: I can't believe I didn't get Best Actress.
UPDATE: I have nothing at this time.
UPDATE: He thanked everybody in China. That has to be a record.
UPDATE: Crash. Whoa. OK, then. Good night, all. Happy montages.

God Bless 1s and 0s

I know wireless technology, and laptops for that matter, have been around for quite a while, but I'm sitting outside the coffeehouse around the corner from my place (yes, in early March. Let's give a shoutout to LA while we're at it.), completely disconnected from an outlet and telephone or cable cord, drinking hot raspberry tea, checking my email, smoking a cigarette, watching traffic go by just a few feet from me, and talking to a friend of mine over AIM who's thousands of miles away.

Pretty sweet.

Tag

I know, huh? It's been a while. I've really had nothing new to report, so I'll offer yet another cool web thingy that I found.

Dodgeball.com is a service that works with the web and your cell phone. You sign up on their site and link to friends. While you're out, say, at a bar, you send a text to Dodgeball with the name of the place, and it sends notices out to the friends you've linked with letting them know where you are if they want to meet up. It's free and it serves 22 cities. If you don't want to be found, you just don't check in, and if you don't want notices from your friends, you just send an "off" message to the service.

I'm on the LA one, obviously, but if you want to link to me, I'm on the home page (still, I think) and signed up under my hotmail account.

Hey Mr. DJ

My friend Nic just introduced me to the newest way I can procrastinate at work AND listen to music: Pandora.

From their home page:

Can you help me discover more music that I'll like?
Those questions often evolved into great conversations. Each friend told us their favorite artists and songs, explored the music we suggested, gave us feedback, and we in turn made new suggestions. Everybody started joking that we were now their personal DJs.
We created Pandora so that we can have that same kind of conversation with you.

Basically, you type in a band name or song title and based on a bunch of scientific criteria, they find other music in their library that matches and plays it for you. From this, stations are created and they'll save them in your account so you can access them later. It's a great way to discover artists you might not have otherwise heard of.

Puppy Bowl II

Ok, I'm blatantly copying my friend Todd, who just blogged about this on My Space, but it's worth spreading to the masses, so WTF.

Animal Planet came up with the genius idea to counter-program against the Super Bowl using a show that features puppies. Yup, just puppies. Puppies playing on a mock football field with toys, specifically. And when they piddle, a ref enters and throws a flag down (their version of a penalty) and cleans it up. I discovered it last year as I was cleaning my place to have a couple of friends over to watch the game. I was flipping channels near MTV to find some music and there it was - Puppy Bowl. I was transfixed, and as my friends and I watched the "real" event, we found ourselves changing back more and more.

It's too damn cute for words and, I swear, feeds my soul.

Just a number?

22. Jebus.

How old do you act?

She chops

This one is for you, Ms. Adams:

Broc

Not so "Simple"

Found a new group I like: Simple Kid . I think he's just one guy, which makes me think he's like a combo of Badly Drawn Boy and The Incredible Moses Leroy . Anyway, when you get to his site, click on the menu button on the lower right, then MP3, and listen to "Staring at the Sun".

Too many Van Pattens work in Hollywood

Thanks for nothing, Dick.

http://www.imdb.com/find?q=%22Van%20Patten%22;s=all

Ouch.

Did you ever look at an inanimate object and think, "Somewhere, I bet there's a fetish group for that."?

Rock on!

So, until Friday, I had no idea that Urban Dictionary existed. Be sure to check out my friend Rory's word that was just added, "Keith Mooned".

On the lighter side...

I was reviewing my last few posts and realized I've done a lot of bitching lately. In the interest of lightening up, I thought I'd treat everyone to a photo of some beagle puppies. Really, is there anything cuter?

All together now: awwwwww!

Verizon DSL can kiss my 2006 ass

I wish I could be more eloquent, but at this particular moment I'm in the middle of my second cold in a month. I blame the climate changes during holiday travel, too many time zones, and my own mother's germs for getting me to this point. And on my two days off before I go back to work, too. Blech.

Anyway, I'm posting this for anyone who might be considering Verizon DSL. They blow. They dicked me out of service for two months as I remained in some sort of customer limbo, and when I tried to get to the bottom of it (during my vacation, *ahem*), they were less than helpful and hung up on me. After HOURS waiting in the queue during various calls.

Adelphia, here I come.